Daily Archives: February 10, 2015

“What? Oh God, is it Lent again already?”

I used to think that Matthew Broderick was the best and only actor that ever did movies worth watching.  He couldn’t miss.  To this day, because of his little hot streak in the 80s, I will go to any movie that he is in whether it looks interesting to me or not.

Man crush?  Abso-Frakking-Lutely!  He gets to bang Carrie Bradshaw to boot.

This next movie was such a departure for him and his persona at the time, I didn’t know what to make of it at first, then I just let go and enjoyed it.

The film is set in medieval times and opens with Broderick playing a thief that is in the middle of escaping from a dungeon through the sewers of what is later found out to be Aquila.  Being that Philipe Gastone is the first to ever escape, a man hunt ensues.  After fleeing from the grasp of the Captain of the guard, Marquet, Philipe is later rescued by Navarre, played by the extremely underrated Rutger Hauer.

This film soon becomes a road movie…erm uh, a medieval road picture that Gastone, Navarre, Navarre’s amazing,beautiful horse, and a well trained hawk start out on.  Their first night away, Gastone is left alone by Navarre and he meets the most beautiful woman from the 80s (Michelle “Oh my effing GOD” Pfeifer) who apparently has appeared from out of nowhere and has taken over the barn that they are allowed to stay in for the night. If we weren’t intrigued by the adventure and the quiet and stern Navarre helping this meaningless thief out, we now have our full attention on the naked lady in the room–did I forget to mention she was naked?

YEAH, SHE’S NAKED!!!

Now, they’re very classy with the nudity, which is why my mom let me watch it, but a 9 year old’s imagination is crazy awesome.  I was totally content.

Not only was this tale an entertaining medieval action/adventure, it developed into an intriguing story with eclectic fantasy elements for which I will not divulge as I would never take these “reveals” from a viewer’s first watch.

This film also has a unique score. I watched this film with a few of my friends and they found the music distracting.  You decide.  I like it.  Give it 3 minutes and if you don’t think it’s catchy, call me crazy in the comments.

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Regarding Rutger Hauer.  He is the only person that does not speak with an English accent throughout the entirety of the film, and I did not find it distracting.  He is such a part of his character, and delivers his lines (and he does not have a lot in this picture) so articulately that the lack of accent goes unnoticed.

Has Rutger Hauer made some bad movie choices? Yes.  Has he ever not put everything he has as an actor into every role that he portrays?  I don’t believe so.  A film that he is in can be bad, but I am always happy to see him show up on film (damn–maybe I have two man-crushes in this film–see how I just worked that out).

Recently I saw him on a couple of episodes of ABC’s”Galavant” and I was disappointed that they didn’t use him enough.  He is one of the hardest working men in Hollywood.  He has been a journeyman character actor for the majority of his life and no one can portray evil the way he can when asked.  Because of that persona, he can play a role like this in which he is the strong silent man that is flawed, but can slay 100 villains all for love…..

…and we buy it.

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