Category Archives: Uncategorized

“I’m the Party Pooper.”


Not at first.

Like most of Arnold’s films, we start out with a pretty nice action set.  He is searching for a bad man.  We’ve seen enough of his films to know that the people he’s about to interact with are in for a southern ass whoopen.  Much like the “Terminator” movies, he struts through a room of villains–very nonchalant–pulls out a shotgun and starts firing.  The difference here, he’s not seen killing anyone…huh?

He shoots up some of the room and scenery and scares a lot of shady people off and no one dies.


Again, unexpected.  He gets ahold of one of the shady characters and interrogates him there.  He is looking for a very bad man.  There was nothing worse than a villain on film in the late 80s and early 90s in America that was a drug dealer–unless there was a film with Nazis in it.

The snitch gives up some information that helps Detective John Kimble (Arnold) track a lead down to help him find Cullen Crisp.

Kimble gets assigned a new partner, Detective Phoebe O’Hara (Pamela Reed in a very brief and underrated comedic performance).  Of course Kimble is opposed to the assignment until he learns that the undercover op is as a kindergarten teacher.

Yes, “Kindergarten Cop.”  A very quoted movie and a great family comedy.

Phoebe is to be the Kindergarten teacher for a classroom of kids that may be the son of Crisp.  The detectives believe that Crisps’ ex love interest has changed her name, fled to a small town, become a teacher, and has a son in kindergarten.

After a fit of sudden illness, Kimble has to step in for Phoebe and fill in as the new Kindergarten teacher.

What could possibly go wrong?

Not the best first day, to say the least.  A lot of chaos, yelling, and crying.


The appeal to the movie is definitely not the plot–very simple and predictable–the appeal comes completely from Arnold and his persona.  I feel that it was a VERY brave decision for him to take this project on…the only other person I would probably want to see do this would be Clint Eastwood circa 1985-1989 after “Sudden Impact” but before “Dead Pool.” Those huge “manly-men” personas give this delicate comedy that human touch that it needs as a tough guy is forced to become compassionate, organized, and vulnerable.

This “bull in a China shop” has to deal with a lot of interesting personalities that are his students.  Another allure is that the kids are not just backdrop and scenery.  The writers were very skilled at giving us a lot of dynamic child characters with very little lines and screen time.  Quite a feat.

There is eventually some drama, a bit of a romance with Crisps’ ex, and a decent suspense sequence at the films climax as Crisp and his bat-shit mother step into the frame; but the draw to this movie is the comedic sequences that Arnold is put through as a large man that has to learn how to be delicate with fresh young minds.  Not to mention some comedic moments from Linda Hunt as his principal Miss Schlowski.  I don’t think it was an accident that the director chose to surround our giant with small children and a very small statured boss too.

He has to be bigger than that when he does have to come down out of the clouds and relate to people, it’s both challenging and charming.


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Links for everyone.

So, I’ve made it easy for Americans to access my book.  I feel like a jerk for not including my loyal readers all over the world.  Just click on the link below and you should be redirected to the correct amazon store in your part of the world:






Also, if you type “Clintington” into Amazon’s search bar, it’ll take you straight to my books.

Thank you all for reading.


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“Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?”

For those of you that are familiar with my blog, you know that I enjoy a movie that knows what it is, and that can give itself a wink.

This next one does just that, close to better than any other movie I’ve already written about.

“Creature Features” used to be about the jumps, the loud screeches, the shock, the aw–they became comedic in the 60s and 70s (excluding “Jaws” and it’s brilliance) when the audiences started realizing how phony all of the props became and “Mystery Science Theater” had a purpose.  I feel that the creators of this movie knew that they could create an atmosphere of suspense and danger, while encouraging us to laugh along with them.

Like all great Creature Features (and taking a lead from “Jaws“) we start out with an unknown force from below that can attack at a whim and devour a person in seconds…when I say below, I mean underground.

Yes, this movie borrows a lot from “Jaws,” in a good way and creates one of the most interesting monsters for a Creature Feature in a while.  An underground “land shark” if you will…and there’s more than one.  Why not ratchet the tension up?

Tremors” offers more than suspense and laughs.  For instance, I truly enjoyed the chemistry between Kevin Bacon‘s Valentine McKee and Fred Ward‘s Earl Bass.  I will be as bold to say that I’d put it right up there with Robert Redford and Paul Newman in “The Sting” or “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”  There is a true sense of life struggle, camaraderie, frustration, and years of understanding that these two share within the first minute of their screen time together.  We get a sense that the two of them know what the other is thinking, and could really finish each other’s sentences if they needed to.


I have a limited number of people in my life that can sit in a room with me during a meeting, read the expression on my face, and know what I will want to do about the challenges we are facing together to remedy the situation, just by looking at me.  Having a bond like that with a co-worker, friend, spouse, can alleviate  a lot of pressure and allow for confidence and support as they know you are aware of what to do, and will not need to have another discussion about it as you carry on with your problem solving.

Valentine and Earl share that bond. What better interesting blue-collar duo to save the world from these monstrous freaks of “pseudo nature?”

Many people die along our journey…it is a Creature Feature after all, and the necessity for danger must always be at the forefront if we want to stay interested.  The monsters turn out to be more formidable than expected throughout the endeavor and leave us clenched to our seats until the final, fulfilling moment of truth.

I’ve had a recent post about the “Silence of the Lambs.” Those of you that have read me for some time are familiar with my “Jaws” post as well.  Those movies were very great at creating true tension against very honest environmental antagonists.  “Tremors” is aware from the get go that we’re dealing with a fantastical element that no one has seen before, and attempting to create a tone of absolute crisis would be dishonest with the spectacle matter.  There is tension, but there are also deep breaths that allow for pause, with humor and wit.  After all, when was the last time you saw the town drunk get eaten feet first by an underground, overgrown crustacean with five eel tongues?

What’s that?

Didn’t think so.


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“What happened to Sully?” — “I let him go.”

I have only one thing to be thankful to for this next post–ABC’s “Sunday Night Movies.”

For those of you that don’t know what that means, back before we had all the technologies that we have now (DVDs, BlueRays, Streaming, OnDemand, etc.) and prior to VCRs being too popular, movies used to have a much longer “window” of time prior to being released on VHS.  Once they were released on VHS, the rental stores rarely had enough copies for a very popular new release (they’d usually have about 5 copies for a very popular movie) to go around if you really wanted to see a movie.  I found that by the time you could finally get a copy of the new release you wanted to see, you would’ve already seen it on ABC’s “Sunday Night Movies”–however, it was edited for television….why else would my parents let me see it?

Ok, confession time again… “The Terminator” was not the first “Schwarzenegger movie” that I ever saw.  It was “Commando” on “Sunday Night!”


Is this movie a “classic” or “must see” per say?

Hell no!

Am I glad I got to see it?


It introduced me to Schwarzenegger, in which he became a sub-genre of Action movies in-and-of-himself.  I always heard my friends at school that were allowed to watch his movies (unedited) talking about how “awesome” they were.  After I watched “Commando,” I completely understood what they were talking about.

Action! Action! Action!

I think by today’s standards, the movie might drag in parts…but at the time, it was an extravaganza.

His daughter’s kidnap and chase down his mountain fortress, his free-fall from the bowels of the airplane, the pursuit of Sully through the mall, the battle with Cooke at the Motel, the extraction of all of the weapons at the sporting goods store, and the final sequence when he attempts to rescue his daughter are some of the action set pieces in the film.

I also found that in his movies, he took notes from James Bond and started having cool witty phrases after he murdered a villain.  The “catch phrases” are considered cliche now, because of Bond and Schwarzenegger.

The movie has a very simple premise:  John’s (Schwarzenegger’s) daughter is kidnapped as collateral by some mercenaries that want John Matrix (how cool is that name) to assassinate a political figure in a far off country over seas.  The flight overseas is 14 hours.  That is all the time he has to track the villains, find out his daughter’s location, get to her, and attempt her rescue.


I found that making light of the murders with his catch phrases made the movie less gruesome.  After all, they were villains and we wanted him to kill them (come on, they kidnapped his daughter).  I also enjoyed the performance of Rae Dawn Chong.


She plays Cindy, an innocent woman that is at first hijacked by John Matrix and forced to do some unpleasant things for him.  She is reluctant to help John Matrix (I just love that damn name) at first for good reason, but is eventually won over and becomes his ally.

I liked her anxious flare and watching her arm and discharge a rocket launcher is priceless.

Again, this is a movie that helped create the “cliche action” movies that we make light of and laugh with now.  If it was not for movies like this and the Stallone “Rambo” series, we wouldn’t have the pleasure of enjoying movies like “Hot Shots!I and II. Which I found pleasure in watching, very much.


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